Butterflies and Stinging Nettles

Stick A Fork In Me... I'm Done

2004-12-31T08:03:00.000Z

Done with this Blog anyway... From now on I'll be in my new Blog-home!!

http://psychoticcheese.blogspot.com

I'll still be coming back and checking this blog, but it will be coming off BE and the other put on.

Please update your links, and join me on the other side!!

What's Next To Go Wrong...

2004-12-29T20:26:00.000Z

Ok, so I guess I better explain why my Christmas was so f*cked up.
Me and my Mum wern't exactly on good terms anyway, due to her finding out I'd been on her pc over the summer when she was on holiday. so I wasn't really looking forward to spending Christmas Eve with her, my step-dad and my Gran. We had booked in at a restaurant we'd been to several times before. A nice, cosy place, with great food, and lovely people. The meal went fine, Ken didn't say a word to me, but then I'm used to that, and Mum was only saying the bare minimum, which I'd expeted. My Gran, knowing nothing of the argument, had a lovely time, which is nice, as unfortunately she's at the age now where you start to wonder if this will be her last Christmas...

Ken drove my Gran back to her house, and Mum drove me back to James'. When we stopped half-way there I was expecting a bit of a lecture. I got the lecture, but there was more to it. She'd found out I hadn't payed my dentist fees like I said I had, and got into the 'I can't stand you lying to me' stuff. Before you start thinking I'm some evil bitch, let me explain. My mother trys to live my life for me. Always has. I'm 19 for f*cks sake, I moved out when I was 18, and she still rings me to remind me of dentist appointments. I think I'm old enough now to remember things like that and get myself there on time thanks. Anyway, yes, I lied to her, I know I shouldn't, but I don't do it to hurt her, or to be deliberately decietful, I do it to stop her nagging at me, as she will until it's sorted.

So we're sat in the car, in the pouring rain, with my Mum in tears, and me feeling very guilty. She then tells me that she wishes she didn't love me, as it would be easier for her, so it didn't hurt as much. Ouch. Wasn't ready for that one. Can understand how she feels, but still, my own Mother wishes she didn't love me.
So now we're both in tears. but there's more. She feels she can't trust me, thought we'd got over our 'bad patch' and wants my house key back. Well, I hardly live there anymore so yeah, fair enough. Then she tells me that because of all this, because of how much I'd hurt her, she nearly didn't buy me a Christmas present. She did in the end, a pair of little silver earrings. (Now am I not only feeling upset and as guilty as hell, but I'm now pissed off that I got her a gorgeous wooden bowl that I knew she'd love. Spent more on it than I've ever spent on her I think.) Ken on the other hand got me Jack Sh*t. Well, ok, so I spent £25 on him this year, again more than I have done other years. Hope he dosn't think he's getting a Birthday present off me when it's February.

We finally set off to James', both of us still in tears. When we pull up I thank her politely for the pressie (I hadn't opened it at that point) and the lift home, get out the car, and walk off, not looking back. I spent the rest of the evening feeling like sh*t. So that was my nice family Christmas down the toilet.
Christmas day we went round to James' parents, and came back yesterday night. Although I was still down about what had happened the night before, it was nice to be part of James' family. To feel wanted.

After I'd got home I turned the pc on, and checked my emails. Saw I had one from my Mum. Great. More lecturing. More words of how much I've hurt her.. Ok.. let's see
'...hope you liked the earrings... blah blah... I loved the wooden bowl... blah blah... cried when I saw it... blah blah.... tryed ringing you but no reply... blah blah... had an accident in the car... blah...' WOAH!! Wait up a minute... lemme re-read that bit again..

'Two minutes after I dropped you off I had an accident in the car as I turned out into the main road. The car was hit on the left front wing, spun round and shunted quite a long way up the road. It all happened so quickly. The right side of my body impacted on the side of the car and my head collided with the door frame. The other car eventually crashed into a lampost. Fire brigade, police and ambulance were called and a very kind lady rang Ken and stayed with me until they all arrived. Because of my head injury they were a bit concerned about moving me. Normally the Fire Brigade would cut the top off the car but a Smart Car is made of titanium which is very difficult to cut so they had to wriggle me around whilst keeping my spine as still as they could, then it was flat on a stretcher with the foamy bits taped either side of my head so I couldn't move and an oxygen mask over my face.

Anyway, they got me up to HRI in the ambulance and I was examined and x-ray'ed just about all over [I've seen proof now that my head is not empty] and they decided that nothing was broken, just badly bruised and shocked. The Smart has no 'crumple-zone' so any impact is dispersed throughout the titanium frame which ended up in me. They let me go home at about midnight.'

So by now I'm sat with my head in my hands, tears streaming down my face, trying to make what I'd just read disappear. Even though it was her who had been hit, it was dark, and it was raining, (by an Albanian/Kurdish/Bosnian guy with no tax, no insurance, and no valid driving licence may I add...) I couldn't help feeling responsible. I knew she was upset, and she obviously didn't look as carefully as she normally does. If only I'd stayed in the car when she'd pulled up. If I'd stayed to talk to her... It was because of me that she was upset in the first place....
I spoke to her today, she's ok, just a few bruises. Scared sh*tless to drive again. Even when her and Ken were out in his car she was jumpy at the trafic. So God knows how she's gunna get back to driving again. I'm just so glad she's ok. There was me feeling sorry for myself at what a crap Christmas I've had. I can't imagine how she feels. She just has to wait now to see if the car is a rite off, or if they can fix it. I'm just glad I've still got my Mum.

Crappy Christmas & A F*cked Up New Year

2004-12-25T10:26:00.000Z

Well, my Christmas has already been ruined by 9pm yesterday. I'll post all about it when we come back, as we're off to James parents for a few days.
I never really liked Christmas in the 1st place, but now I f*cking hate it. I'm sure you'll understand why when I tell you.

Hope you all have a better time than I have had anyway.

Almost Fully Functional

2004-12-23T11:45:00.000Z

As you might have guessed, I was far too tired last night to come on and post about the rest of yesterday. So here's what I would've posted if I had been awake enough to make a proper sentance...
We finished shopping about 2pm and went round to see Reaver's parents. I was nearly falling asleep in front of the tv as it was. Finally got home about 5ish. Although I didn't intend to sleep before we went to bad properly, I had an hour or two before dinner. I just couldn't keep my eyes open.
It was about 9pm and there was nothing on tv but the British Comedy Awards (Oh god... more Little Britain... bleh), so we sat and watched XXX (the film with Vin Diesel in, where he's recruited as a special agent), which I haven't seen for ages. When it finished I realised something... I was wide awake again! The bit of sleep I had had earlier had turned into a power nap!! I wasn't going to turn the pc on and post then, as I knew that once I started surfing, I'd be there for ages. So out came Need For Speed Underground. That just stressed me out, as I got stuck on a couple of races that I simply couldn't get past.
Don't know when I finally got into bed. Must have been about 1amish I think, maybe earlier. So here I am, functioning again. Just about to go into Huddersfield to do any last bits of shopping we need. Got a Half Life 2 Deathmatch Match on tonight. Well, I say it's a match, it's more a bit of fun, throwing sinks around, directing rockets, camping out til someone comes into view... You know how it is. lol
So for now, Au Revoir.

Sleep? What's That???

2004-12-22T02:18:00.000Z

2.19am... I'm sat here, surfing away, more awake than I was at 2.19pm. Why, I don't know. We went to see Blade:Trinity at the cinema (well yeah, where else would we have seen it... duh), then went bowling. 5 guys and me. The first game I came 1st, and then 2nd... hehe!!! After that we went to The Warehouse for a few drinks and a game of pool. Found a new way to win too... Was playing against Reaver, he was beating me by at least 4 balls, so I decided to see how much I could put him off by wispering naughty things in his ear as he was trying to take his shot. I think it worked quite well as I ended up winning the game!! lol Yes, I admit, us women are devious creatures. But you blokes love every bit of it.
So anyway. I'm wide awake. Listening to some old songs that are bringing back memories of making up dance routines in my mates living room all those years ago... This is making it even harder to get myself into the whole 'getting to bed for sleep' mood. Not good as we gotta be up early tomorrow (well, in about 6hrs actually..) to go to Wakefield to go Crimbo shopping too... bleh... I hate Crimbo shopping. It's cold too. Bet it rains too, just to really piss me off...

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

5.20am... I'm obviously STILL wide awake. I have two options...

1) Go to sleep for four hours, wake up incredibly tired and therefore very grouchy.
2) Don't sleep at all.

Hmmm... I'm wide awake. So I guess it's option no.2 then. Think it'll be an early night for me tomorrow...

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

7.40am... So there we have it. An entire night, with no sleep what-so-ever. Yes, I'm tired now. Yes, I think in a few hours when being tired really starts to kick in, I will be grouchy. And yes, I'm still setting off for Wakefield in an hour... to do Crimbo shopping... three days before Xmas. I think my body may go on strike soon after lunch time... I'll post when I get back, unless I lose all control over my body as soon as I've entered the house and end up slumping on the floor in a heap. Hmm.. We'll just have to wait and see...

Poll Update...

2004-12-20T21:14:00.000Z

My poll has been running for nearly a week now, seeing if you think I should have a Christmas song played here on the day. So far you lot seem as much into the festivities as I am!! You all seem to be fed up with the 'themed' sites that are around at the moment. Good for me I guess, as long as you all come back lol. So, please take part in the poll, things could change yet!!

After careful consideration (which took about 5 minutes) it has been decided by the powers that be (ahem, me) that I will be moving to my new blog address and site on New Years Day. New Year, new site. Nice. So please, any of you that have me blogrolled, blogmarked, earmarked, or anything else, you need to change your links. Here's the addy:-
http://psychoticcheese.blogspot.com (Yes, psychotic cheese, the name is actually Psychotic Bunnies & Crazy Cheese, but that would be far too long in a site addy.)
I've been having a play round with it today, and it's looking alot better than when I first brought it too life. click HERE and go see!!

For Better Or Worse?

2004-12-17T22:00:00.000Z

I've spent the entire day giving this site a super-duper face-lift. Yes, I know, It still looks the same as before. I created another site. Based on this one, to possibly replace this one. What I want to know is if you think it's better, or if you prefer this one. (link opens in a new window)

~~Psyco Bunnies & Crazy Cheese~~

All opinions and comments will be greatfully appreciated - good or bad!!!

Still taking Questions (see post for the 16th), and the poll is still going on in the right side bar. See?! Lots for you to do and get involved in!

Yes, my comments box is not loading up very quickly, I do apologize. Refreshing it a few times seems to work.

Blog Exposions Rival?? I Think Not

2004-12-17T13:06:00.000Z

I saw on another site while I was surfing that they found another site like BE - AutoHits or something. Anyway.. I thought 'hey, why not..' and signed up. It's almost exactly like BE, you surf round earning credits blah blah... BUT you don't actually have to sit and click to get on to the next site. It automatically loads every 30 seconds!! This is great for people who want the hits, but dont care if anyone is actually reading the site. All you have to do is set it up in the morning, and let it do it's thing for the rest of the day. So yeah, you can earn hundreds of hits in just one day. But surely most people would be doing this so your site wouldn't actually be read either... Another thing is that not many of the sites were even english... There was Greek and German for sure, I don't know about the others, all I know is they wern't english.
This is a great site for Hit-whores, but for those of us who would like people to actually read their site, it sucks.

Still taking questions - see Dec 16 post and comments. (Thanks Gary for the couple of questions you left me... :op glad to see someone wants to play my Q&A game lol)

I also have a poll running down the right sidebar - so far people are fed up with the whole festive site theming... what do you think?

The Rest

2004-12-16T10:00:00.000Z

I found some more questions from you lot dotted around in the comments - so here are the answers.

If you could do any one thing in life, money, not a problem, what would it be? - Angi
Hmmm.... I've a few ideas for this...
1) Stop all hunger and poverty in the world, and have it so everyone is an equal, there is no rich and poor.
2) Research a fab new machine that can see into peoples future, and if they're going to be evil (from stealing to being the next Osama Bin Laden) then they get fried. Mua-ha-ha!!
3) I'd liked to go on a round the world trip, to go everywhere and see everything. Have to take a suitcase full of camera films too.
4) Simply put myself through college (again).

How many BE's have bookmarked your site. I have 10 --lost one today. - Gary
Last time I checked (which was a couple of days ago) I had been bookmarked a total of..... seven times. Wow.

You are really hot. Are you dating anyone? - Bernie
Lol - yes, I am seeing someone. Regular readers of my site (not that there's many of you) will know I'm madly in love with Reaver (James). Pics down the right side.

What colour is your toothbrush? - Apples
I have a boring green toothbrush that my mum gave to me because they were on special offer. I used to have a colourful Aquafresh one, but I had to change it once it started looking like a hedgehog.

No-one wants to seem to lay the Q&A game with me... :o( I would like at least 20 Questions before I answer any of them. Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with cherrys on? Well, I live in hope....
Please do NOT comment in this posts comment box unless you have a question!!!!

Tell Me Why...

2004-12-13T16:10:00.000Z

Been doing alot of thinking over the past few dys. Mainly about my Dad. I won't have seen him now for at least 10 years. I keep wondering where he is, what he's doing. I want to know if he ever thinks of me, or has the same thoughts about finding me as I have about him. And I want to know why he did what he did. What did my Mum ever do to deserve that. No-one deserves that. That Bonfire night I spent next door at my Grans house, while my Mum was in a hospital bed... She's never been keen on Bonfire night since... can't imagine why. She's spent the rest of her life with no feeling in the right side of her jaw, and numerous bridges and plates in her mouth.
I haven't seen my Dad since that night. Until a few years ago I never wanted to. But as I've grown up, I've become curious. I want to know why. He tryed to make it look like a burglary. But there were no fingerprints, no sign of forced entry... I guess they found the spanner though... with my Dads prints all over it...

The thing is, if I try to look for him, obviously it'll upset my Mum. If I don't, I'll wonder about it for the rest of my life. I could do it behind her back, but then I'd be lying to her...
Does he even want to be found? He never wanted a daughter anyway. So all my life I've been a disappointment to him. Why should he want to see me now after managing to get rid of me. Has he thought about me since? Does he even remember who I am....

One day, I think I'll look. When I've got my life all sorted out. I can find him, and ask all the questions that keep buzzing round my head. I can show him what a success I am. Show him he can be proud of me. That I'm not a total disappointment.

One day, I will.

My Game!!!

2004-12-03T13:06:00.000Z

One of my many fans, (ok, my only fan... maybe....) has made me a game!! It works best in IE, though I dont know about any other brouser. Go Check it out!!!!!

~~~>Game<~~~

by Gary

Still taking questions... Ask me ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!! Come on... I don't bite. Unless you ask nicely of course... :op

Answers

2004-12-01T20:58:00.000Z

As none of you seem to want to play along (tut tut to you), I've decided to give you the answers a bit early. So... here goes...

Why don't you like spiders? - C.H. Truth
- Errm... I don't know really. I've never had nightmares about them, never been bitten by one, nothing like them. I haven't liked them since I was litte, and I guess the more I've seen them, the more my dislike for them has grown, until it grew into a fear. Silly I know.

Do you know how beautiful you are? - Mindie
- Gee.. thanks.. I certainly don't see myself as beautiful. I think I look ok, or I try to at least. Never had much self-confidence.. Still don't.

Are you from Huddersfield? - Flirt
- Yes, I most certainly am. For those non-uk people, it's about two-thirds up in the middle. About an hour from Manchester. It's horrible really, as there's nothing but hills. Much rather it be flat, could go bike riding more then.

Did I make the pic in the top corner? - Flirt
- Yep, I'm not entirely happy with it, but then I never am with anything I've done.

Do I have any irrational phobias? - Beth
- What like being afraid of coathangers? Or the letter S? 'Fraid not. Though I don't like lifts/elevators. I always worry that they're going to drop... *shudders*.. moving swiftly on....

Why purple and black for the colour scheme? - Ginny
- Well, for a start I like black & purple, I think they go together well. Also, the black kinda represents how I feel most of the time. Down, dark, lonely... The purple just gives it a nice contrast I think.

Will you go to my site and read my site, if you have already seen it, did u read it or wait 30 seconds and move on? - Benjamin Solah
- I actually came across your blog a few weeks ago. Yes, I stayed more than the 30 seconds. I don't know how long I was there for, but I read quite a few of your posts. I agree with you on the Mother thing, mine is exactly the same. She won't see that I have to run my own life now, she can't run it for me. I guess they'll never learn...

What in life do you cherish most and why? Other than the thing you cherish most, what makes you really happy and why? Also other than those, what do you enjoy doing most and why? - My hunny.. Reaver
- You shouldn't have to ask this at all. I cherish you the most, and I always will. Just being with you makes me happy, even if we're doing nothing more than snuggling up with some Ben & Jerrys, watching a film. Knowing I have you by my side makes me the happiest I could ever be.

What is the derivative of F(x) = 2x + 4y - 1? - Annette
- Oh Jeez... Err... I'll get back to you on this one.. I'm still working it out!!

And Gary decided to write me an essay of questions... lol Hmm... wonder what the blanks could be.... guess I'll have to make up my own words to fit in there.. lol :op

What color are the .... your wearing?
- The trousers I'm wearing are denim jeans, kinda stripy with blues and a beige colour.

Have you ever had....?
...a strawberry milkshake whilst sat on top of Mt. Everest with Elvis? Um.. no... I don't like strawberry milkshakes.

What's the most you have been offered to....?
...sell my soul by the devil? So far he's gone up as far as £3.42, a Mars bar, and a poster of Johnny Depp.... I'm waiting until he throws in the Orlando Bloom Keyring.

With how many people have you....?
...sang Easter carols around a naked fire, whilst doing the 'funky-chicken'? Last time I counted I think there were two of us... No, I was wrong.... there was just me.

Did you ever with a....?
....rubber chicken in one hand, and a eye-patch in the other? Don't be silly. The eye-patch was over my eye.

if I sent you.... would you send me....?
...money would I send you a reciept? Of course. Hand written ok for you?

how often to you.... yourself?
...email myself? Only when I'm not getting any emails at all.

have you ever used a....?
...pair of tweezers to pull hair out of a bloke? Yes... Reaver still hasn't forgiven me...

how big was the biggest.... you ever....?
...DVD collection I ever saw? Has to be Reavers... He must have about 300.

how much would you pay to sleep with....?
...Reaver? Not much, he's pretty cheap. :op

who was Cain's wife?
As in McCain? French fry was his wife.

how many bites does it take to get to....?
...the center of the earth? I haven't tried it myself, but I'd imagine it'd take quite alot. The quest for someone with a big appetite.

The End

If you're reading this and haven't yet asked me a question, please feel free to stick one in the comment box!

Over To You

2004-11-29T16:28:00.000Z

Ok, so I have writers block. Nothing has happened to me that has been remotely interesting in the past few days, and I can't think up a made up story to entertain you with either. So this post is for you to ask me whatever you want. Any question you want to know, I will answer. Come on, don't be afraid.
I have a new poll down the right sidebar too if you'd be so kind as to participate.
(By the time you've done these two little things, those pesky 30 seconds will be up and you're free to leave, hows that!!)

Make Yourself In Lego!!

2004-11-28T11:16:00.000Z

I found this really cool site where you can make lego people. It's fun and easy to do, and there are so many different combinations!!
Anyway, here's one I made earlier... lol

2004-11-26T17:38:00.000Z

Does this have some strange meaning? Is Blog Explosion wearing Fezs? Am I just being strange and random? Are you now looking at this site hoping that those 30seconds would pass by a little quicker? I don't blame you.

It's Just Never Simple

2004-11-26T14:46:00.000Z

I found out last night exactly how much work Reaver has to do for his Uni course, and how stressed out he is about it. He's studying Computer Games Programming. Sounds fun dosn't it. Well, to make a game, you have to code it, like using html for web sites. It looks bloody hard. Html is so easy comared to this. He has project deadlines coming up in the next few weeks, and is stressing that he hasn't got enough time. Personally I think he's doing too much, as he has Karate on Tuesday nights, and Wing Chung on Thursdays. For a start his body hasn't had chance to recover from Karate before he has his WC. And on those nights, he dosn't get home til late, so hasn't got any time to work. But he has his Black Belt grading coming up for Karate, and a grading for WC, both in the next week or so.
I can see how much pressure he is under, as his Martial Arts is as important to him as his Uni, and he won't give it up. I'm just worried that he'll end up making himself really ill, and I wish I could help. I've suggested that he goes and talk to one of his tutors, and ask them for any advice. But he says he dosn't want them to turn round and give him more time. I think he see's asking for help as a weekness. He wants to be the best. He has the ability and the potential to be the best. I want him to get the grades he deserves, and not under-achieve because he's tryed to do too much.
So for now, all my problems, worries, and 'down' times, have to go on hold. I'm already doing stuff like the washing, making tea on week nights, and the dishes. Somehow I have to do more to help. I want to do more to help. But what can I do...?

Public Apology

2004-11-25T13:06:00.000Z

From me to Flirt. My comments on her site recently haven't been the kindest to say the least. She's just a girl, full of festive spirit, trying to have fun. I, on the other hand, hate the festive season, hate it being 'dressed up' far too much, and had PMS. None of which being a valid excuse I know.
I guess after a bit of thought I've realised that I was extremely out of line, and would like to offer my apologies to Flirt.
Sorry girl, your site does look pretty cool, even though I hate the 'C' season.
So I hope this can be the end of it, and I promise not to do it again.
Apologies again. xx

(As for Redpac-ket - you say you hate my music, and hate me, but you can't help yourself coming back!?! Where's the logic in that?!!)

And Another Thing...

Big thank-yous to Gary. I asked you lot where I can make/get banners from. (thank-you to everyone who left suggestions btw, and thanks to Dizzy-Girl for hopefully making me one)
With nothing better to do at 5am (Are you mad being up at that time??!) He made me a banner!! I'd show you a pic, but I think I'll just wait till it gets it's approval and it's being used. Thanks hun, that was really sweet of you. xx

Ok, I give Up

2004-11-24T20:25:00.000Z

Question for those from BE;
Where'd you get/make your banners from??!!
I've got one, but can't remember which site I made it from. (and I'm not too keen on it anyway)
I've tried making my own using paint, but as I have to upload it as a JPEG in Hello most of the colour quality is lost and it ends up all fuzzy.
There's another restriction too. It needs to be free. Hey!! I'm unemployed!! I need to save not spend. :op

So. Any suggestions??

Oooh!! Angry Bloggers!!

2004-11-24T13:11:00.000Z

Jeez!! I didn't know having music one my site would cause so much anger!!
Ok. Here goes some replies....

Thank you for a start to everyone who has said they like my layout, and they like the music. These commrnents are much appreciated.

For the people who think the music is annoying, I apologise, and I do see that if music is already playing on your pc, it would be a bitch. Therefore I will move the media player so that people can turn it off it they so wish as soon it loads up.
For Greg - I really don't know a whole lot about web sites, so although you have great ideas about making my site 'universal' and all that, it's like asking me to write it all in chinese. Sorry, haven't learnt that bit yet. For people who don't have IE - sorry, but tough. I don't know how else to do things like that.
Maybe I can get some comments on HOW to do things, I might be able to try.

One last thing. This is my site. Yes I will move the media player, but at the end of the day, if I want music on my site, for when I visit it, then so be it. You only have to stay here for 30 seconds after all. In fact, you don't HAVE to. just click through. Yeah, so you lose a micro of a credit, but surely if the music is THAT bad, you won't mind....??

I Pity This Individual

2004-11-23T16:54:00.000Z

I've just had a comment and very low rating left on Blog Explosion by Redpac. These are his/her kind words:

"I hate music on websites, and therefore I hate you."

Two things.

1) WTF have I done to deserve this?? (other than putting aparently insulting music on my site - do your speakers not have volume control??)

2) So you don't like music on sites. And that's a good reason to come to the conclusion that you hate me? Ok then...

Sorry if I'm not a mind reader and my site isn't advanced enough to turn the music off before it reaches your tender ears.
Tell you what, if you don't like it - JUST. DON'T. LISTEN TO IT. Learn how to use the volume control on your speakers, or if you scroll down to the bottom of my photos section, you'll see the media player, and be able to turn it off!! Genius!!

And if Redpac-ket of beans is reading, I'm not insulted. I'm not angry. I've just had a good laugh at you for being so pathetic.
Har-de-har-de-ha-ha.

No 'C' Word Here

2004-11-23T14:15:00.000Z

Here is a post about my dislike for the C word. Without actually saying it as I'm not a big fan of this time of year. This will be a non-C blog. (not to be confused with noncy - ie. 'poncy' and 'silly')
This is why...

a) it's bloody cold
b) when it snows, it's bloody cold and wet
c) it's expensive

The one thing that annoys me most about this supposedly festive season, is that every year it seems to start earlier!! Adverts for toys and gifts start being shown in early November. Same with shops putting up decorations and stuff. It won't be long until people are getting ready for 'it' in July.
Oh God. 6 Months of this.
When I was little I used to love this time of year. My Mum used to make me a trasure hunt fo find my stocking, which usually took a good 2hrs. If I ever wanted a clue from her, I'd have to make her a cup of coffee. By the time I finally did find my stocking, she'd have at least five steaming cups next to her. Aswell as the two empty ones.
But as the years have gone on, it's not just lost it's sparkle, but I've started to dread it. I'll still go out and try to get that 'perfect' present for everyone, but I certainly don't enjoy it. If it was cancelled this year, I wouldn't be upset, and I certainly wouldn't miss it. Surely it's more about being with the one's we love, rather than spending loads of money and eating far too much.

So, this blog will be totally C-free. No theme, no getting excited about it, and certainly no ramming it down your throat. That ok with you? Good.

It's Taking Over...

2004-11-22T14:48:00.000Z

I have a new found addiction to replace the nicotine one.... Blog Explosion. Everytime I turn on my pc I just have to get straight on surfing around other blogs. If you haven't tried it - you should. It gives your blog so many more hits. I got 86 hits yesterday!!! 86!! I don't useually get more than 20 in a day. Now I know not all 86 people will have actually read my blog, but surely half of them must, I mean that would be about 40 right? So maybe some of them will like what they've seen, and come back. I live in hope. I do notice my comments are growing anyway... :oD
If you want to sign up, just scroll down to the bottom of my photos section, you'll see the flashing BE box to click on.

Ok, so right now I'm supposed to be getting on with the 3D Max tutorials. Reaver says he'll bring home a tub of Ben & Jerrys Phish Food if I get three completed by the time he gets home. I have about 2hrs. It would've been longer if I hadn't gone back to bed this morning after he left for uni, but my brain simply dosn't function at 8am. I needed more sleep.
This led to me waking up at 2.30pm. I'm still sat in my dressing gown (well, actually it's Reavers lol) at 3 in the afternoon. I had the plan of being showered and dressed, and having put the washing on by now. Which would've given me plenty of time to get those tutorials done.
So, without further ado, I will go and learn my ass off.
Ciao.

Ooh Look, More Stress

2004-11-21T15:56:00.000Z

I'm finally doing something with a purpose. Well, I say doing, I'm trying to do it at least. I'm trying to teach myself 3DS Max. This is a programme that you can make things in. Anything from logos, to actual 3D charachters. You can animate them, and add colour and texture to them.
Think Shrek. All the objects and charachters in the movie can be made like this.
You basicallly start off with a box. Then you extrude (pull out) certain faces/vertexs (sides and points) to make whatever you want. From just a box you can make people like this...

I'm going through the tutorials and learning each aspect of designing something. Although I can't actually make anything of my own at the moment, hopefully in a few weeks I can make some basic objects/charachters to go in one of Reavers Uni projects.
The tutorials are well written, but sometimes things don't quite work as they should do, and some of the buttons are really hard to find. So as much fun as it is doing these little projects, it's stressing me out. So I thought I'd have a little break and come and tell you all about it. Now that I've done that and calmed down a little, I guess I better get back to it.

Three Long Weeks....

2004-11-18T20:02:00.000Z

I have officially been nicotine free for three weeks. 21 days without those little white sticks. People go on about how you feel so much better... obviously they must be smoking something else instead, as the only thing I've noticed is that Reaver dosn't recoil away from me from after I've had one.
I'm more stressed, and I'm stressed that I haven't got my little stick of sanity to de-stress.
So why did I stop after two years? Cos of the guilt I felt everytime Reaver looked at me in that way and said 'you had a fag again?'. I'd always meant to give up anyway, it was just something I never got around to. 'I can give up whenever I want' I thought. But I just didn't want to enough.
Well, the decision was made for me. In some ways I'm glad, but There's just sometimes I could really do with one. Just the one. But then I'll get that look that kills my insides even more than that stick does...

The things people do for love....

Lost? Or Simply Misplaced...?

2004-11-16T13:46:00.000Z

If you asked me if I'm ok, I'd tell you, 'I'm fine thanks.' But it'd be a lie. The thing is, I don't know how I really am. I'm not upset, though I'm certainly not the happiest I could be. I'm not unwell, though I'm not feeling my best. I'm not angry, though I'm slightly frustrated. So what am I? I feel lost. I have no energy what-so-ever, both physically and mentally. The past few weeks I've simply wasted away. I should be looking for a job. Yet I can't muster the energy to even get out of bed. I simply sit at the bottom, curled up in the duvet, and play games on the pc at the end of the bed. I'll be there from when Reaver goes to Uni at 10am, til 9/10pm, stopping only for food, and bathroom breaks. I seldom even get dressed unless I need to. Right now, I have no point, or meaning to my life. I'm not living, I'm simply being alive. Even me and Reaver don't get on as well as we used to. Don't get me wrong, we're not about to break up or anything (at least I hope not), we still love each other very much. We've just been getting into a few arguments. Over such minor stuff aswell. We make up in the end, but it's the hour or two of bad feeling that I hate. I sometimes wonder if it'd just be best if I went back home, maybe not forever, but for a few nights, a week maybe. But we'd both mis each other too much. I'm not in my mums good books anyway, now she's found out that I used her pc when she was on holiday this summer, even though I told her I wouldn't. But yet I don't care. Obviously I care that I've hurt her, but after the whole college money thing, I despise her. No, not despise. I love her, but yet I'll always hold this against her.
So how long do I have to wait? Surely all the crap that keeps happening must stop eventually. I dropped out of colege in May 2003. Since then, everything has just gone down hill. Everything just seems to screw up. Meeting Reaver was the best thing that could've happened, but yet I feel like I'm driving him away sometimes. So how long will it be till things start to go right for me? Another month? Another year? I just want to be happy with my life, and with myself, cos at the moment, I don't really like either. I've started to realise that I don't actually like the person I am. Not just the exterior, I've never been entirely happy with that, but the interior, inside my head, what I'm like as a person. I feel I'm getting bitter and twisted. I even get jealous of Reaver when he shows me what he's done at Uni. I should be pleased for him, and I am, but I get jealous of what he's got, what he's able to achieve, and that he's doing something to help him get to be where he wants to be. And what scares me most is that part of me almost resents him for that. That feeling I hate the most. The one person I love with all my heart and soul, and I get feelings of resentment where happiness should be. I'm completely ashamed of myself for it. I just don't know what to do. I just wish I could get my drive back. Just some kind of self motivation would coume in handy. Cos at the moment, I'm losing my reason for living.

So What Next...?

2004-11-12T17:23:00.000Z

So. The Pirate pix didn't work, the mouse saga didn't work, the Rainbow link and the Llama link didn't work, and me writing comments didn't work. So what is left for me to try to get you lot to leave comments??!! I'd ask you to leave a comment to tell me what I need to do, but that won't work. I feel I'm failing miserably at this whole blog thing. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm proud of what it looks like, and how it's set out, I'd take it down. I guess the purpose of this blog isn't just so I can vent my frustrations, and stuff, but to actually be listened to, for someone to say 'Yeah, that happened to me once' or 'I'm sorry that happened to you' or even just a 'Hey, just found your blog and thought it was pretty cool'. Surely I'm not asking much. Just 2 minutes of your time to say something. I keep coming back, eagerly looking for that little number to go up, telling me that someone, somewhere, cares enough to spare 2 minutes. But it dosn't. Either the world has become a very unsociable place, or I suck at this. I dunno. I'll probably keep on posting, ranting, whinging, and generally being random, simply as I don't have much else to do. But just don't think I'm doing this for any other reason, ok? ok.

Llama

2004-11-09T15:23:00.000Z

Like to see something funny? Check this link.

I Was Wrong..

2004-11-09T13:44:00.000Z

I just couldn't believe it. Well, I could, because he was there, running around on the floor. And of course we never actually knew for certain that he'd gone in the first place. But now we know for sure we were wrong.

SATAN IS BACK....

(the mouse that is... see Nov 1st post)

Reaver was happily wrapped up in his book, I was playing on the Xbox. Then, out the corner of my eye I saw him in the other corner of the room. I'll say this, that mouse has balls. I must have got half way accross the room before he stuck his middle finger up (well he would if this were a cartoon) and ran behind the wardrobe. The mouse trap we've put down is at the bottom of our bed, as thats where he was last time. All set up with a chocolate button on it. Last night, he was the other side of the room. So either he hasn't found the button yet, or he hasn't got a sweet tooth. Do we move the trap? At the risk of then seeing him at the bottom of the bed?
I don't know. I think this mouse must have been a decendant of one of the mice Einstein must've had. Cheeky little buggar.

So I'm still unemployed anyway. Since leaving the job at the supply teacher agency place I've worked for two days as a receptionist. The company builds houses, sorts out the plans and all that. They said the phone usually never stopped ringing. Well while I was there, it did. There must have been about 15-20 calls on both days I was there. The rest of the time I was playing Solitaire and Backgammon over the net. Either that or I was making tea and coffee for everyone. That was my very first job as soon as I got there!! I have never been so bored. I can't complain though, £95 for two days of sitting doing nothing. But unfortunately I have had nothing since. And Christmas is closing in. That's my main worry. That it'll get to a week before Christmas, and I won't have any money what-so-ever to buy any presents. I've had years before when things have been a bit tight, but I've managed. It'd kill me not to be able to buy anyone anything. I do have a last resort though. My Gran has a savings account for me, for a deposit on a house, something like that. She's put money into it every week for as long as I can imagine. I'm pretty sure that if I explain to her the situation I'm in, she'll let me have some of it. It's not as though I'm wanting to spend it on myself for a huge shopping spree or anything. I just couldn't bear not being able to afford presents for anyone.

So has anything else exciting happened? Err.. don't think so. Sorry for the lack of excitingness, maybe I'll find some later today.

More Pirate Pics!!!

2004-11-07T19:37:00.000Z

We've managed to get our mitts on the photos from another camera that was taken out when we went to Manchester. These included some of Reaver!!! So of course I had to pull out the best ones and add them to my collection. Personally I think he suits he Pirate image... lol There are some other random ones in amongst the previous few aswell. As before, just hover the mouse over the pics to see my little comments, or click to enlarge. Enjoy!!

And the mouse has... disappeared...??!! Looks like it....

LMAO

2004-11-02T20:13:00.000Z

Do you remember the kids TV program Rainbow, with Zippy, and Bungle, George the hippo? You do? Well, you have to go watch this right now. No excuses. It's the funniest thing I've seen for a long time. Even if you don't know what the hell I'm on about, still go see. You'll laugh. Or you should do. I did. Cos It's funny. Go on then!! Why are you still here??!! Cos I'm still talking to you...? Oh yeah.. Ok ok.. post over. Now Scram!!

The mouse is still here btw.... :(

Satan The Mouse

2004-11-01T13:12:00.000Z

No, it's not some Halloween story. We have a mouse and I swear it's the spawn of Satan himself. He first appeared in the kitchen, the obvious place for a mouse to be. But this isn't your ordinary mouse. This mouse can get cheese off a mouse trap, without setting it off!! Now, personally I would rather get one of those humane traps, the box ones that they go into and the door flicks down. I don't like to think of them being caught in a trap, but not quite dead. But the guys want to be brutal and make sure the little buggar dosn't come back. Well, after the past few nights I'm beginning to see their way of thinking, for Satan has moved from the kitchen, to our room. It scared the crap out of me when I first saw him dart accross the floor. Since then, he's been seen poking out of the TV cabinate. He's also found the store of empty carrier bags at the bottom of the bed, so all we here is constant rustling at night. If we move to turn the light on, he's out of there faster than a bullet. We've tried putting the trap down for him, (this I'm not pleased at, as I don't want to be woken in the night by the sound of squished mouse... eugh) but he hasn't touched it at all. I've found that mice like chocolate biscuits more than cheese, so I think we might try that next. I'm tempted to stay up all night in the hope of catching him, but a) I don't think I could stay awake, and b) he's out-smarted us so far. How humiliating... outsmarted by a mouse... *hangs head in shame...*

Don't Worry, I'm Back

2004-10-28T22:27:00.000Z

Woah!! No, I'm ok, really. Thanks for all the zillions of comments asking where I've been for the past week, and why I haven't posted the pics from last Friday yet. I appreciate all the love guys, really I do.
Not that you really care, but last Friday was my last day at the supply teacher place. The office shut down, and subsequently, I lost my job. The night out was fantastic to start with, but went down hill from about 10pm onwards, as everyone exept me and Reaver got extremely drunk (Reaver was driving anyway). We decided to head home early, but it wasn't til we got to the train station (in Manchester) that we realised there wasn't another train for two more hours. Bear in mind if you will that it was about midnight, and we were both extremely tired from lack of sleep over the past few nights. We managed to kill 30mins in a grubby little hole of a take-away, that looked like it hadn't seen disinfectant or even a damp cloth in a few months. The flies certainly didn't seem to mind. We got a table a bit too close to the two drunks in the corner, who took great interest in us and asking us questions about why we were dressed as pirates, and if we had to take an exam to become one (well I did say they were drunk...) So we sat there eating our burgers. Well, I say burgers, God only knows what was actually in them, cos it sure as hell didn't look edible. The only thing that kept us ploughing on was the fact that neither of us had eaten all day, and it was the only place open that we could find near the station. For the rest of the 2hrs, we sat, freezing cold, huddled up on the cold, hard plastic seating inside, watching the few people walk around the station. Some of them drunk and off home, some of them too drunk to remember how to walk, let alone go home. And then there were the two, ahem, girls? women? females? I'm gunna be blunt. They were dogs. Typical drug estate, scruffy, foul mouthed dogs. Tarted up like God knows what, thinking they were 'all that'. And they were arguing. Big cat fight arguing. One of them (the older one by the look of it) threw a bag of chips at the younger, scrawnier one. All the time they were fighting, bitching and name-calling, they still went round together. Where one went, the other followed. Must of been for a good 30-45mins. While we were waiting to get on the train, the younger of the two threw a drink at the other, which actually hit a guy in a small group going past. Now, think of the typical 'rude-boy', y'know the type. Latest trainers, tracksuit, hood up, cap on, at least one large chain, and walks like he's got a melon up his ass. Yeah, that's the one. He was the one that took part of the liquid missile. And he wasn't a happy bunny. Unfortunately we were too far away to hear what was being said, and wern't around long enough to see what happened, but it was obvious that this girl had more to worry about than her 'friend' at that point.
So anyway. We finally got home at 2am and collapse into bed. Now as reaver isn't a pic-taking kinda guy, and cos I forgot, we haven't many pics. But several of the guys that went took cameras, so hopefully we can get some of us, off them. There must have been about 20-25 of us altogether, and 99% of us dressed up. And I must admit, we all looked pretty damn good. I will get the pics up soon, not that you lot really give a shit, but simply for my own online photo album, so I can have look whenever I want.
I'd tell you about the temp job I've been at today, and am there tomorrow, but I think this post is already long enough. So It'll have to wait til tomorrow. Oooh I bet the suspense is killing you. Basically, tough shit. You can't be bothered to read & comment, I can't be bothered to write everything down right now. So there.

Who Stole My Parrot....??

2004-10-22T10:37:00.000Z

Well he was around here somewhere... Have you seen him? Colourful thing, goes by the name of Percy, keeps saying 'Pieces of Eight..Pieces of Eight'... No? Well I guess he'll turn up later. Us Pirates are on a mission to find rum (Bacardi) and have a jolly ole' knees up tonight. Peg-Leg Patrick, a mate of Long James Silver, has decided to terrorise the depths of Manchester for his Birthday. We've got the outfits, we've got the swords (plastic of course) but I (Long James Silvers' Wench) cannot find my damn parrot. I guess he dosn't want to be around me while I'm full of cold. Don't blame him really, I want to get away from it too. Well if you see him, can you send him back to the address on his collar. Cheers.
So man the decks, pull up the anchor, and set sail for the Mists of Manchester!! (cue evil, spooky laughter...)
Oh, and I promise to get the pics posted up ASAP!!! Be something for you lot to laugh at!!

Brand Spankin' New / Apologies

2004-10-19T17:38:00.000Z

Welcome to the new, improved B&SN. I wanted a change of background, but nothing too messy and colorful, jus something simple and effective. I really like it, and I hope you lot do too. One thing I would like to do is have scrolling text boxes where the two side bars are, and one in the middle for the writing. I have no idea where to find them, or how easy this would be to do. So if you have a STB, or know where I can find a decent one, please let me know.

Also I've been informed of my iweb music box downloading ads and pop-up bars to whichever innocent victim looks at my site. This box has been PERMANENTLY removed from my site, and will not be used by me again. I sincerly apologize to those who have already fallen victim to the evil pop-ups, but I honestly didn't know this would happen. My PC already has pop-up bars and ads, so I really wouldn't have noticed. Thank-you for the warning, and again, huge apologies.

Happy Birthday Gran

2004-10-17T13:27:00.000Z

It was my Grans birthday yesterday. 85 She is now. She's getting very confused in her old age, but still has a good spirit and that twinkle in her eyes. We went out to lunch today, me, gran, my mum, and my step-dad. The meal was great, Ken was his usual sarcastic self, and my gran loved being taken out. We've already arranged to go back there on Xmas eve (Xmas day is already booked up). I wonder if this will be the last Xmas I have with my gran. We've always been very close. And I'd hate for the day to come when I haven't got her around anymore. But with every day, she gets a little more confused and forgetful. I'll tell you about the recent fiasco shes got herself into.
About a month ago, maybe longer, she bought herself a new fridge, one that dosn't need defrosting as often. When my mum went to visit her last week, my gran was saying to her that she wants a new fridge. Mum explained to her that she'd only just had a new one. Yes, my gran knew this, but the milk wasn't keeping cold, or even staying fresh very long. My mum suggested turning the dial in the fridge, to make it colder. So over to the fridge they went. As soon as my mum opened the door she was almost knocked back by the stench coming out of their, not that my gran had noticed. So after removing all sorts of furry specimins from the offending object, and cleaning it out with anti-bacterial spray stuff, mum noticed that the fridge light wasn't working. Then she knew what was wrong. I don't know if you know, but when a fridge is delivered, they tell you not to turn it on for at least an hour, and just to let it sit there empty for that time. Well, obviously my gran had forgotton about this, or hadnt been told, so therefore didnt know to turn it on, thinking that it already was on. Yep, thats right. for a month, the fridge had been sitting there, unplugged, but being used. Thats why her milk was going off so fast, and the other things in there. I'm so suprised she didn't come down with food poisoning or something. But now her fridge is back up and running, and the milk is staying fresh for longer. So I'd just like to wish her a Happy Birthday, and I hope it's not the last. xxx

So Why?

2004-10-14T09:17:00.000Z

I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong... Three of my favourite blogsites (which are very well written) get loads of regulars commenting on almost every post. I'm lucky to get just the one. I'm simply wondering if my blog is that appaling, and that uninteresting that no-one reads further that the title, before clicking the 'next blog' button, and escaping my blogging torture. I'd like to think my blog is more of an online diary, where my thoughts and feelings are laid out bare. Peoples' natural curiosity makes them want to read others diarys, to see what that person is thinking. But they don't, as it's not theirs to read, and it's simply an invasion of privacy. So here I am, with my diary ONLINE, wanting people to read, relate, and re-visit. Yes my diary is mostly for my own use, to express my thoughts through words, to get things straight in my own head mainly. But I'd like to know your thoughts. Your experiences of the things I've talked about.
So I'm trying something new. I've got a new comment box. Even if you haven't got a blog, you can comment. See, I'm making things so easy for you!! So please, I'd like to know whats wrong, how I can improve and make this a better blogging experience for us both.

Here We Go Again....

2004-10-11T13:16:00.000Z

Well, this will be my second attempt at posting Saturdays events, as I was careless enough to press escape and delete all my writing... Things just never go smoothly do they. So get yourself a coffee, pull up a chair, and make yourself comfortable. All sorted? ok, then I'll begin...

Before I even got to Manchester I had to endure 30mins of annoyance. Because of the football (England v Wales - dunno who won in the end) the train was packed. So I was stood in one of the carriages for the whole journey down. Standing next to me was two elderly ladies. Well, I say elderly, they looked about 60, and good for it too. Both of them had suitcases and bags, obviously going to the airport for their sunnies. They spoke with a posh, stereo-typical english accent, and you could see that they thought they were the high end of society. They also had to stand up for the journey down, due to lack of seats. Well it was only 30 mins, so I certainly didn't mind. Well, they did.
In the seats next to where I was standing were two teenage girls, about 16 or so. As soon as one of these PWs (Posh Women) saw them, she leaned over to the girls (and across me) and said in a jokey, but stern tone 'In our day, young people would stand up and give their seats to ones older than themselves.' The girls just looked at her, not sure quite what to say. The PW simply turned and got into a conversation with her friend about how society has changed so much, and how it would've been thought on as disgraceful if children didn't offer their seats back 'in our day'. I think if she had simply asked the girls for their seats they would have ironically given them up without much fuss. But there you go. Maybe it's part of the olden generation to expect things from their juniors, simply because that's how it was when they were young. I don't know. Not quite sure what my view on this is.
One thing that I did find ironic, is that these two PWs thought they were too frail to stand up for 30mins, but yet had the energy to heave heavy suitcases and bags around so they could go abroard.... does this seem strange to anyone else?? Anyway.... By the time I got off at Manchester Picadilly I was glad to be rid of them.

So outside the station I set off to find the hotel we were auditioning at. I was 45mins early, but I wanted to make sure I got there in time. As I walked towards the entrance of The Palace, I saw there was a que outside. The Bouncer on the door was Shouting out to everyone to keep walking down the street to join the end of the que. I got chatting to another girl that was there on her own, and we both set off to the end of the line. I expected the que, what I didn't expect was precisely how bloody long it was... Down the road, round the corner, down that road, down to the bottom of a dead end street and back, carry on down the main road, down another dead end and back up, and finally endind on the main road. There must have been a thousand people there. It took about 10 mins to walk from the entrance to the end, that was nothing considering how long it would take to get back to the entrance again. Bear in mind at this point that it was cold and windy, and there was nothing to sit down on. I think my legs started to ache about the 3hr mark, yes, you read right. 3 Hours. But it wasn't over yet. We hadn't even gone round the corner to start our way up the main street. The only high-light to the queing was that Ben and Becca were going around with a camera crew, but we only got a quick glimpse of them before they were gone, otherwise I would've got a piccy.
It was now that four people decided to push in. Now if it was any other time I would've vented my pent up frustration at them. But I was cold, achey, and very bored, and simply didn't have the energy. The guy they got in front of did have the energy however. But he may as well not have bothered for all the good it did him. They just stood there and looked at him, before turning round and carrying on their conversation. Another 2hours passed, and we'd finally made it inside the hotel, and into some sort of basement function room. One of the guys that'd come to audition had brought his guitar with him, so within minutes the whole room was singing along to Maroon 5 and some others I can't remember. All I could think of was how grateful I was that it was warm. Outside there was a bitter wind blowing, that you couldn't get away from. The sun came out for a bit here and there, and it was warm when it did, but the warmth inside was much apreciated. When the que moved out of the basement, there were 6 flights of stairs to que up, along a corridor, and into the main audidtion room. Now I don't know if you're thinking the auditions were like they were for Big Brother, or Pop Idol, 'cos they were nothing like it. At one side of the room was a table with two middle aged ladies sat behind it, and they couldn't have looked more bored. They'd obviously been there since first thing that morning, saying the same thing to people that they couldn't care less about. The idea was that once we got to this table, we were asked our name, age and where we lived, and then got told which way to go. One way led to the way out of the building, indicating that you've been rejected, or the other way that I presume meant that you'd got through. I only presume cos I was rejected and unwanted.
So after 5 1/2 hours of queing in the cold, we were given just 30seconds to impress them with... with what?? Inner confidence? That certain sparkle? Well I obviously didn't have whatever they were looking for. So, tired and disappointed I dragged myself back to the train station, after getting lost on the way of course. Don't know how I managed that. Maybe my brain had frozen over with the cold.

Well at least I got a seat on the train this time. And just my luck, two drunken blokes sat across from me, singing every song they could remember the words to. I felt so uncomfortable sat there on my own, hopeing that if I sat still enough that I'd blend into the upholstery of the seats and they wpuldn't bother me. I just wanted to be left alone. And thankfully I was. Reaver picked me up from the station, and after stopping off to buy Ben & Jerrys Ice Cream (Phish Food flavour of course) we got home, and I had a much needed hug. I'd expected not to get in, so I wasn't too disappointed, but it still hurt, that whatever they were looking for, obviously wasn't me. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. Would I do it again if the opportunity arose? Yeah, I guess I would. Just to say that I had that chance. I was there. Maybe next time hey..

From Good, to Bad, and Back Again....

2004-10-06T13:56:00.000Z

You guys will never believe what has happened.... You know the programme Hollyoaks on Ch4 (Don't think America has it, but it's a teeny soap based in Chester), well, guess who is going for an audition to be in it on Saturday.... yes!! ME!!!!! Of all people, out of everything that has happened, I have an audition!!! It all started about a month ago, I saw it advertised on TV that they were looking for a new face for the programme. All you had to do was go to the website, and post your pic on it, and they'd text you to tell you whether you'd got through or not. Well after posting my pic I simply forgot about it, as nothing that good happens to me. Well, the other day I got a number, and after re-reading it for the 5th time, it said that they'd like me to go to Manchester for an audition this Saturday!!! I just have to wait for the text that tells me where and when. I don't think I've got a snowballs chance in hell of actually getting it, as I have no acting experience, but just the fact I have an audition.. It's something pretty amazing to stick on a CV isn't it?!! The only draw-back of it is that I'd have to move to Chester, as there's no way I could comute there every day from Huddersfield. Which means that I'd be leaving James in Hudds... I know there's the chance I'll be away from him for a year anyway when he goes on his placement for Uni, but after then he'll be back in Hudds. If I'm in Chester it'll be so hard to see him as often as we first thought possible. But this really is a chance of a life time. It might not happen... but I don't want to be wondering 'what if...' though it'd be so hard being apart from James. Oh well... I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. Keep you're fingers crossed for me guys!! You could be seeing me on the box!!! Seriously, how fantastic would this be....??!!!!!!! lol

For The Love Of God...

2004-10-04T13:22:00.000Z

....Get me out of here. Right now. My boss at work is off today, and probably will be for the next couple of days. So I'm stuck in the office with the regional manager. Lets call her J, and my boss S. Shes an average kind of woman, small, medium build, blonde messed up bob. She has no sense of humour. Seriously, none what-so-ever. She dosn't know whats going on in the office, and probably couldn't organise her way out of a paper bag... and she insists on telling me everything she's doing (or trying to do). Anything you say to her she takes so seriously, so there's no trying to make a joke, as she simply won't understand it. When she came in this morning she insisted on cleaning the office. (I admit it needed it, S is so unorganized, you really cannot see his desk for pieces of paper that are simply spread all over it). Aswell as cleaning the desks, we've tidied up the office and the store cupboard. (God knows what S will think, and she's re-arranged the office aswell...) This was most fun, as I got to be the one who sat on the floor sorting through opened packs of the same forms, envelopes that were stacked on three different shelves, flyers that had just been stuffed into the first available space, regardless of the fact that they fell out when the door was opened... So the cupboard is now all neat and tidy. Everything all stacked together in tidy piles. Organized so things are together, like the big envelopes are next to the small ones... etc. etc... One thing that is good about the office move round is that my desk is now facing into the room, and the wall is behind me. So I can sit here quite happily, tapping away busilly, looking as if I'm working really hard, when actually I'm updating my blog!! Fantastic!! I'm supposed to be doing profiles at the moment, yes, I know, I thought I'd finished them aswell, no such luck. There's another 73 to do altogether... omg.... I think I've finally found hell...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ok, here's the next installment of a very interesting day...
I managed to get a total of two profiles written throughout the day, because J kept asking me 100 questions of how to do things. (She's only the regional manager, so really wouldn't expect her to have a clue. lol) Everything from 'which folder is blah in?' to 'how do i get into your pc from mine?'. And sod's law is that all the bookings have come in this afternoon. It's been mayhem!!! I don't know how she managed to get her job, I really don't. So I ended up finishing at 5.30 this afternoon, instead of my usual 4-4.30 (even though I'm paid til 5. lol) But oh no, just when I thought my day of hell had finished, and I could relax, I realise that the door I'm pushing to get out of the building is not moving. Not an inch. So I try the little lock knob. Nope. It simply spins round in my hand. This is not what I had in mind for a quick exit home. So I go back to my office to see if J knows how to get out. Suprisingly enough she didn't. Well I wasn't expecting a miracle or anything. So we ring the upstairs office, to see if C knows anything about the seemingly locked door. Again, no luck. So I'm stood there thinking I'm never going to get out, as someone obviously wants to keep me in there for as long as possible. Anyway, we finally manage to hunt down a cleaner who came to our rescue. Apparently the door knob we were trying to turn had been turned too much, and needed screwing back into place, so it could then be turned and hence, open the door. So I eventually wandered back into the comfort of Reaver's home (that I now have a key for may I add) at about 6.15. Great. Am still wondering what else could possibly screw up today. As everything else has. So here's to tomorrow. Another day with J, and hopefully a little less hectic.

EMERGENCY!!!!!

2004-10-01T13:24:00.000Z

Quick!! someone call the doctor, ambulance, paremedic, whatever!!! Something is seriously wrong with me!!!! I'm sat here, bored out my mind doing nothing at work again, jus minding my own business, and I've realised something... for the second day in a row I'm eating a Dairy Milk bar... AND I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT IT!!!! I've taken two bites and I really don't want anymore!!!! This is worrying, as I am a chocoholic, or at least I was until these events occured. I don't know what has happened.... I used to tuck into chocolate, loving every sweet mouthful, and still wanting more afterwards. But suddenly one bar can last all afternoon, until I end up eating it just because it's there, and I figure it would be a waste just leaving it. What do I do??!!! What has caused it??!! Is this just a phase I'm going through, or will it pass???!! Why the hell am I so distraught by this???!!! Why do I think you'll care??!!! God I must be bored.....

Days Like These

2004-09-30T10:43:00.000Z

Thank god I have days like today, or I might've left by now. I'm at work. The boring admin job that an untrained chip could do. So far this-morning I've... err... done nothing. Well, I've turned an Excel table into an Access one. It took 10 mins. And that's it. I've been here for nearly 3hrs, and I've done 10mins work. Why? Cos my boss has gone out for the day, and said as long as I'm here to answer the phone I can do whatever I want!!! So I thought I'd update my blog while I've got a little time on my hands. So here it is. One suggestion of what i should do is write the worlds greatest novel. But I can't think of what to base it on. Maybe I should turn my blog into a novel. Can't think it would make very good reading though. At least it would all be true. but nothing really exciting has happened in my life. All it would be is me going through life, stuffing up, getting depressed, and yet still hanging on to life through the skin of my teeth. I wouldn't want to read it anyway. lol ok, well, lunch time i think. mmm... food....

To Date

2004-09-23T08:33:00.000Z

I know, I know... I haven't updated my blog for a little while, as Unlikely pointed out to me last night. So. Whats been going on in my life. Well the Graphics job is coming and going like the tide. One minute it's here, washing round my ankles, the next it's so far out you can't see it. So I have no idea what's going on with that. The admin job I'm doing at the moment keeps asking how long I'm going to be around for aswell, well... I have no idea. So it looks like I could be here for a while til the other gets sorted. IF it ever gets sorted. I won't hold my breath.
Reaver is off back to Uni next week. 2nd year of Games programming. Sounds like a great course. Huddersfield Uni is the 1st to offer this course, so it's a great chance. If my life had gone to plan I should be going into my 2nd year next week too. (Reaver is actually 2-3yrs older than me, even though we'd be in the same year, he took a few years outbefore Uni.) But because of certain mistakes and wrong decisions, I'm sat at a desk, at 19, doin a job I can't stand. But have no choice but to be here simply because I need the money. Makes me wonder if anything in my life will ever go right. Only good thing in it at the moment is Reaver. All I want is to go back to college and get my life back on track. But as it'll cost so much to go back to col, I have to wait until next year. My life sucks. I'll post again when I'm in a slightly happier mood. Back to ringing round for availability again.... oh yeay..

My Love

2004-09-14T19:25:00.000Z

This may seem slightly tacky and cheesy, but I don't care. I just want to share with you lot what a fantastic boyfriend I have. I don't think I could be any more in love with him. Saying 'I love you' just simply dosn't seem enough. Here's two of the text msgs I've got from him recently:

"Away from your side I find myself, missing you and decaying health, till onceagain I return to you, my light, my soul, my eternal love, rejuvenating me in loving wealth. xxx"

Now isn't that just lovely? but wait, the next one gets better...

"My heart on the pillow, yours next to mine, being beside you is heaven, being without you is hell. From the moment I saw you, in love... with you... I fell..."

That second one I got at lunchtime on Monday. Brightened up my whole day. Just a simple text made me feel so happy, so loved. I couldn't bear to be without him now. He's my life, my everything. I just hope it lasts forever...

Why Can't Secretarys Be Nice??!

2004-09-13T09:48:00.000Z

Again I'm sat at my desk at work, ringing round yet even more schools. Now, I've come to realise one thing... secretarys (not all of them, but certainly most) really are rude. All I'm doing is asking for the name of the person who deals with sorting out supply teachers. Not a hard question at all. Yet some sec.s insist on asking as many questions as possible in the rudest manner, before handing out the information I need. Let me give you an example:

Me: Good morning, I hope you can help me. I was wondering if Mrs X is still in charge of the supply cover for your school?

Sec: What's it regarding?

Me: I'm just ringing from *Agency* updating our records.

Sec: Oh we don't use agencys at all.

Me: That's no problem, but I'm just updating the recors we have. Does Mrs X still deal with supply?

Sec: No she dosn't.

Me: Can I ask who does please?

Sec: That would be the head.

Me: And can I ask who that is please.

Sec: Mr Z, but we don't use agencys so we don't require your services. *getting very annoyed now*

Me: Can you just spell that for me please?

Sec: *spells surname out too quickly to be understood*

Me: *goes over 1st half of surname that I managed to get*

Sec: *spells out name again in a very irritated manner*

Me: That's great, thank you for your help.

Sec: *has probably hung up*

And there was I thinking secretarys were supposed to be polite, especially as they have to deal with the public. Obvioulsy to be a sec you have to have an A level in Arrogance and Rudeness. Don't get me wrong, I know some Secs are very polite. Some of them are really lovely, and try to help you in any way possible. But the ones that refuse to even try to be civil give all secs a bad name.

Right, enough sciving off, only 158 schools to go.....

It's All Back On!!!

2004-09-09T10:18:00.000Z

I got a suprise phone call last night, from Jonathon, the guy who's offered me the graphics job!!! He's been working away for the past week and lost his phone, hence the reason why he hasn't been in touch. Everything is still ok for me to work for him, and we're meeting up on Monday to go over design ideas. I'm just so glad it's still all ok. This really sounds like my dream job, and I'd hate to lose it before I'd even started!!! So for now I'm doing some temp work for a supply teacher company, just doing general office stuff that no-one else wants to do. That's where I am now. At the moment I'm ringing round schools. So I'm typing whilst waiting for someone to pick up the phone. There's 232 to ring, and thats just within Leeds!! There's still another list to do!! It's a really mundane job, but it pays well, and Fridays is dress-down day. Looks like it's jeans and trainers for me tomorrow!!
So come the end of September, I WILL be designing websites and logos!! Don't worry, as soon as I'm started there I'll et the links put up of some of the sites I've designed. Just so you lot can see what I can do. If you ask very nicely I might even make YOU a website!! Been thinking of setting up my own buisness anyway, doing logos, flash banners, websites etc. So hopefully I can get that up and running in the next couple of months.
Everythings back on top form again, and all the butterflies are colourful.

Someone Upstairs Has It In For Me...

2004-09-06T19:38:00.000Z

Well, it looks like the Graphic Design job I was hoping to get into come the end of Sept was a complete load of b*ll*ks. Haven't heard from the guy in a week now. Not like him at all. He's not replying to any messages I send him, he's never online anymore... something is definately wrong... Just as well I had my doubts about this job from the start, otherwise I would've been even more upset than I already am. I thought my life was finally lokking up for once. For the first time in two years I thought I had been given the chance to actually make something of myself, instead of going from sh*tty temp job, to waitressing and back again. I'm not even going back to coll like I'd planned. Why? cos I can't afford it, and my Mum won't lend me the money. She goes on bout wanting the best for me, but she won't lend me £200 so I can get the quals I need to get a decent job that I want. It's not as though she can't afford it. She just dosn't want my debt to her to go up anymore. (I already owe her £500 rent money - yeah, I get charged £40 a week to live in my own house...) So I gotta wait til next year to go back to coll. Another year of horrible jobs, with no point to them other than to earn enough money to afford to live at home. My life is officially pointless, meaningless, and worthless. Only good thing bout my life right now is that I have Reaver (real name is James btw). Dunno what I'd do without him. He even offered to pay for my coll course tonight. He's such a sweety. But I can't accept it, I hate owing anyone money. And what if I end up not being able to pay him back? I'd feel terrible. So the only option I got left is to save up for next year, and just hope the mundane jobs don't get the better of me. I hope the big guy upstairs thinks it's worth it, he seems to like dangling oportunities in my face and then pulling them away at the last minute. Would like to know what I've done to deserve it though. All I know is that it's gunna be a long year....

It's All Gone Tits Up.... :-(

2004-09-03T10:04:00.000Z

Those of you who have visited my site before (nice to see you again btw come in, sit down, grab a coffee and lets chill out) will have noticed that there's something a little different. Well, I have Blogger to thank for totally f*cking up. There I was, saving my new changes, previewing it one last time to make sure everything was all hunky-dory, and then clicking on the publish button. Big mistake. Obviously Blogger had changed the 'Publish' button for a 'Delete' button without tellng anyone or even changing what the button said on it. Silly me for not realising sooner... Doh. So the next time I saw my site, it was just a big, blank, black space. Empty of every inch of work I'd put into it. I'm just glad that the posts save seperately, cos if they'd disappeared, I really would've been really p*ssed off. So, Now starts the gruelling task of re-doing all the little extra bits yet again. My game, most of my links, the pic I had on the title bar, the whole colour scheme... ohhh.... gunna be a nightmare. Ok, well, better get to it I guess..

Brand New Blog Site

2004-08-29T01:36:00.000Z

Yes that's right, I have a brand-spanking new site. Kind of a sister-site to this one. It's basically a story board, where YOU create the story. Want to know more? Well click HERE and you'll find out.

Go See The Crazy Stuff!!!

2004-08-24T02:21:00.000Z

You need to go do someting, yes, you lot reading this. No, wait a minute, you have to read this first to find out what you have to go do!! Duh... So, when you've finished reading this you must, yes, this is an order, go and look at my Crazy Stuff links. If you don't find any of these links even remotely funny, then I suggest you try and figure out where it was that you lost your sense of humour, cos you've obviously lost it. There are two that I really love: Kenya, and Badgers! Badgers! Badgers!, which will be my all time favourite. Though at the moment I can't get the Kenya one out my head... make of this what you will. Maybe I've simply gone stark raving mad, maybe I'm not all there upstairs, or maybe I simply have a strange sense of humour. I'll leave you to decide. And please come back and tell me what you think of them. I'd love to know your opinions of these weird finds. Right, post over, so go look... NOW!!!!!!!
- Afraid these links have been lost, due to blogger f*cking up. so keep revisiting, and I'll have 'em back as soon as I can.

Girls Really Are Evil!!!!!

2004-08-24T02:18:00.000Z

I first saw this on the back of a mates toilet door, but could never remember the exact formular for it. While flicking through some weird pics on a weird site, I came randomly accross it, so I just had to share it with you lovely people. You can thank me later.

Blog-Steal!!

2004-08-21T18:37:00.000Z

I saw this on someone else's Blog, and thought, 'ooh, i'll have that.' So here it is for you to ponder over:

What makes life 100% perfect??

IF,
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Equals,
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then,
H + A + R + D + W + O + R + K
8 + 1 + 18 + 4 + 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 98 % Only

K + N + O + W + L + E + D + G + E
11+ 14 + 15 + 23 + 12 + 5 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 96 % Only

But,
A + T + T + I + T + U + D + E
1 + 20 + 20 + 9 + 20 + 21 + 4 + 5 = 100 %

Conclusion being that if you have a good attitude towards something then you'll have a perfect life!

If only that were the case. Interesting none-the-less huh? Yeah, I thought so too.

The Past Couple Of Days...

2004-08-21T02:18:00.000Z

So, what have I been up to for the past few days. Well, Yesterday was a bit of a bad day. (That's Thursday to you lot, as it's 3:18am on Saturday morning and I'm still on Friday night... ) Don't really know why I got as down as I did, I guess everything just got a little crazy in my head. Didn't help that my back had started killing me again (see posts from June), so as I couldn't get comfortable in whatever I was doing, that was really getting me down. Suppose it was my own fault really for sitting in the same place for far too long. But anyway. Still dunno what got me so depressed. Woke up this morning like it too. Started off thinking it was gunna be a better day, but no, it obviously wasn't meant to be. Couldn't face working either, so I rang up and quit. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, as I have no other job, and even less money, but hey, when you're as down as I was, you don't give a shit about anything. So what did I do instead? Went to Reavers. Stopped him from going to Camel Club (again - I feel so guilty) but I was feeling a lot happier within 4hrs. Quite a record to me. Oh, something really cool happened tonight too, I got offered a job by this guy I was talking to online. It does sound a little weird though, cos even though I've told him I don't want anything more than friendship with him, he still keeps trying to chat me up. So I get the feeling he has some kind of ulterior motive for the job offer. Well, we'll have to see. The job is for a PA for his company. He deals in computer stuff. He says he might be able to get me into the graphic/web design side of things - making logo's n stuff, and I'd absolutely love that. It's exactly what I want to get into. So It'll either turn out to be an absolutely fantastic opportunity for me, or a complete waste of time. We'll have to see. Fingers Crossed. Right, It's now 3:29am, and I'm really tired, bed time for me I think. Night world, see you tomorrow. (well, actually it IS tomorrow... So, see you later on. Oh, you know what I mean!! lol)

Site Face-Lift

2004-08-17T20:58:00.000Z

So what do you think of the new colours? not very different, but I like it. So what have I been up to... err.. not alot really. I'm not working at the call-centre anymore. They said they were gettin rid of everyone in the building, but only told me n Sam, another call-guy. I always thought the place was kind of weird. And Sam said theres been loads of people who haven't been payed for the work they did. Very strange. So I'm back lookin through the available jobs section of the paper. Not much fun this unemployed lark. But I've sent my CV off for a job as a hotel receptionist, so I just got to wait to see if I here anything. I hope so, it's in the centre of town, so it's easy for me to get to. Knowing my luck I won't here anythin at all. Some other lucky bastard will get it. I konw, I should stop being so pesimistic, but how can i not be. I haven't exactly had a great time over the past two years. Ok, I'm gunna stop right there. I refuse to get myself all depressed again. I'll be back when I've cheered up, and most probably stoned.

Reviews Of Games I've Played

2004-08-15T16:36:00.000Z

Just thought I'd give you my personal opinion of some games I've been playing over the past few days. I know, I know, not very exciting or original, but hey, it's my site and I'll write what I want ok? Good. Here goes...

Games
*Mario Kart ~ N64 ~ This is a fab little game. You can get up to four players battling it out on different tracks. The basis of the game is to finish each track first. Simple as. BUT, You can pick up power-ups on the way round to try to slow your opponents down. This includes things like bananas to place on tactical points on the track to make your fellow racers slide of the track. Or how about some homing shells to fire at your opponents, slowing them down. You even have my favorite, lightening bolts. These hit all opponents and shrink them to half their normal size, thus slowing them down, AND if you're lucky enough (and mean enough) you can run over them whilst their all ickle, flattening them and stopping them all together for a few seconds!! The graphics aren't exactly fantastic, but this is a game well worth playing.

*Spider-Man 2 ~ PS2 ~ Peter Parker is back in lycra keeping the city safe in this all action, web-slinging gem. Now you'd be forgiven for thinking this is just another mission game. It's not. Yes, their are missions to do, but you can do them in your own time. Go explore the islands, find hideouts and save balloons from small children. There are lots of other objectives to complete, plus the street crimes that pop up as you're swinging round buildings. When the game starts you can't do many tricks, swing very far of fast, but complete missions and objectives to unlock rewards. The commentary that guides you through the first few levels is both helpful, and cynical. It explains how to do things with a bit of dry sarcasm thrown in for good measure. All in all, a damn good game that's highly addictive.

*Need For Speed Underground ~ XBox ~ Now, if you like cars, speed races, and overall damn good speedy fun, this is the game for you. As you complete the races (gotta come first in each to progress to the next level) you earn money. This money you can spend to 'do up' your car. You start with very bog-standard, ordinary vehicles. Peugeot 206, Honda Civic, VW Golf, to name a few. But earn some cash, unlock some authentic parts and turn your battered 206 into a lean, mean, speed machine. Add anything from engine packages and wheels, to brake pads and NOS (that's Nitrous to any non-racing people, it makes you go just a little bit faster!!). Not only can you make your car purr like kitten, but you can make it look the part too. This includes both the colour, and the added bits. Buy a new bumper, sideskirts and spoiler, change the head/tail lights, or even add pink flashing neon under-lights and blacked out windows. There are hundreds of combinations. Then you can change the colour add vinyls. If you have a creative streak, try over-lapping tribal and tear vinyls with contrasting colours, and give it your own unique touch of class.
This game is by far the best racing game I've ever played, and so very addictive. With catchy tracks that are just made for racing to, you won't want to put this one down.

Oh What A Night!!

2004-08-12T19:35:00.000Z

Last night was the best night out I think I've ever had!! Ok.. let me take you through it...
7.30pm Met up with Jenna, James and Wex (James' house mate) and started in a pub called The Crown. It was the nearest to us, and as it was still warm outside it seemed daft to sit inside.
8.45pm Two rounds later we head off down to Sharkys. (someone had already thrown up all over the floor by 9pm, now I'll admit to being a little tipsy by then, but to be that drunk so soon is wrong)Met up with Ade and Allison (James' other housemate and his girlf.) So after an hour of getting very drunk we decided to mosey on to the next bar.
10.00 So we get to Blob Shop, find a booth, pile into it, and carry on the fun and talking about music tastes (James deciding to diss Travis, and then proceeding singing along to it as soon as it came on... to which he moaned 'oh no, slap me.' So being the kind people we are, Ade was glad to oblige.)Another round later we dicide to go to Visage after all. So we all pile into Allisons car. Now, if you've payed close attention so far you'll have realised that there's six of us. And Allisons car was only small. So how did we get six people into a very small car? well, Allison was driving, Ade in the passenger seat, me, Jen and James in the back, and Wex... in the boot. No, I'm not joking. He opened the boot, got in, we closed it, and he got out when we got to Vis. How crazy can you get!!
10.45pm So, we're in Vis. I'm not tipsy anymore, I'm well and truly drunk. Jen's met up with some of her work mates, so me and James hit the dance floor. (we lost Ade, Wex and Allison soon after). By 2am I'd drank myself sober (ish),and I don't think I've ever danced so hard in my life!! There was some kind of electricity in me.
2am Staggered out of Vis, buzzing with energy (possibly due to the amount of Vod+Red Bull I'd had...) No sign of any of the others, so me and James trekked up to town. Decided on the way I could do with some food as I hadn't eaten all day. So we stopped off at Planet Spice for a burger!! After sitting down for what seemed an eternity, my legs had finally gone from a dull ache, to a throbbing pain. Time for bed...
3.30am Finally collapsed into my bed. Head still spinning with memories. But the Red Bull still had hold, and it wasn't until 7.30am I finally got to sleep, 3hrs before i had to get up for work!!! Was well worth it though.
They say that time flies when you're having fun, but last night seemed to last forever, and I know I couldn't have had more fun if I'd tried. Was a great night out, can't wait to do it all over again!!!

How 3hrs Can Seem Like 3days...

2004-08-10T19:09:00.000Z

You can't imagine how long 3hrs seem unless you've worked in a call centre. 3hrs of calling people out a phone directory, trying to persuade them to have a FREE apointment to get a FREE, no obligation, quote. You'd think we're trying to sell people horse shit for £1m. all i wanna do is arrange a meeting for one of our guys to go to a house, check out the windows/doors, give a quote. All for free. And i get commission for every apt i make. but does anyone want to take up my nice offer?? do they hell. it's suprising the amount of people who hang up on you mid-sentance!! to me that's just rude!! i hate rude people!! it takes no effort to be polite, and at least listen to what i have to offer. they get a free quote on windows, and i get some extra £££. everyones happy. but oh noooo, they don't want me to earn money, they want to annoy me by hanging up on me. Grrr!!!! ive been so tempted sometimes to ring people back and shout at them!!! ok, going to calm down now. getting far too annoyed bout it!!

Something else i'm annoyed at, Visage aint doing student night at the moment!!!!!! so i won't be going there. jus gunna be a night of pubs n bars. So the next time i post will be bout my night out. might even include pics if you're very lucky!!! lol Arn't i good to you lot.

I Am Officially Annoying...

2004-08-09T18:39:00.000Z

I got a job!!! well, two actually!!! I'm working at Tifosi (Italian Restaurant) at weekends, and I started a job today in a call center. Yes, i am one of those annoying people who ring you up, asking if you want double glazing. It's the worlds most boring job, but hey, it's easy money.
Huddersfield beware, me and my mate are off out on Wednesday night. And yes, I'm single, and yes, i'm on the look out for a bit of fun, god knows i need it enough!!! So if any of you lot are in Hudds on Wednesday, i'll be in Visage/Ethos for the night. why? cos its student night!! meaning a cheap night!! can't go wrong!!

My KitKat

2004-08-08T19:26:00.000Z

This post is dedicated to ChunkyKK. Just wanted to thank you for cheering me up these past few days. In the space of a week i lost my job, and a very good (or so i thought) friend, but in the space of 5mins you manage to get me smiling. Hope we carry on having as many laughs as we do. Just don't stay out in the sun too long, you'll melt!!!! lol Speak soon hun. CYP

Well Done Nadia!!!

2004-08-07T10:44:00.000Z

So, loud, glamourous, transexual Nadia has won Big Brother. To her this was the ultimate acceptance as a woman. She didn't tell her house mates about her secret (though hyperactive Marco guessed on the first day), to reassure herself that she could fit in, in any circumstance. Well, everyone watching Big Brother knew about her little secret, and we all loved her, despite her outrageous laugh that could break glass. We must have done, otherwise she wouldn't have won!! I think it's great she's won. The amount of emotion she must have gone through in her life must be phenomanal. This just proves to her that she will still be accepted in society, and it will also ease the minds of others who were in the same situation as Nadia before the op. Unless you're in that position, you really can't even begin to imagine what they're going through. So here's to Nadia, winner of BB04.

Thunder Wonder

2004-08-05T20:07:00.000Z

Don't you just love thunder and lightening? I don't know what it is about them, but I could sit and watch them all day. They sound so powerful. And forked lightening, although not being very nice if you get hit by it, looks amazing.

Re-vamp

2004-08-04T18:21:00.000Z

As you regular peeps of my site have probably noticed, it's had a bit of a re-vamp. no more pastel blue, oh no. thought i'd use a background to suit my life at the moment. dark, mysterious, black... you get the idea. saying that, im not in too bad a mood at the mo. have decided that Jay has absolutely no right to make me feel bad, all i did was trust him. and i ended up getting it thrown back in my face. how'd i deserve that??? and the coward won't even talk to me, or even reply to any of my emails. well, you dont put your hand in the fire twice. not worth the pain. so, the chapter of my life involving Jay is now officially over as quickly as it started. completely wasted my time there. so what am i gunna do to rectify the situation? go out, have fun, and party hard!!! sounds a damn good idea to me!! who needs men anyway? they come into your life, screw your head up, and fuck off without a word. bastards. men are like kids, i love having them around, as long as i can get rid of them at the end of the day. or not as the case may be...!!! lol so here's to some good nights out on the pull!! men in Huddersfield - BEWARE!!!!! lol

Wait!!! Don't Lock Me Up Just Yet...

2004-08-02T20:27:00.000Z

I wasn't paranoid!! In actual fact my instints were right for a change!!! Jay has just gone to Ireland for a week to sort his head out. How did he tell me? Through a fucking email. Not to my face when I saw him yesterday, oh no. That would've been far too decent. I am so fed up of men screwing my head up!! Is there actually a bloke out there who won't mess with my feelings??? I'm begining to think not. So I think i'll become a lesbian. Much safer. The 'I know how to treat a girl' line means nothing to me anymore. Words can be so meaningless. Shame really.

2004-08-01T20:58:00.000Z

Isn't this just the funniest thing?!?!!!

Someone Lock Me Up

2004-08-01T18:20:00.000Z

It's official. I'm a paranoid fuck-wit. Went round to Jay's this afternoon, just to check he wasn't sulking with me for some reason I didn't know about. He's ok. It's just been a tough week for him and he's been kinda busy. No credit on his phone n he hasn't had time to check his emails. So it's put my mind to rest. Can't see what I got so paranoid about. One of my mates had suggested he was just having some 'self' time. So for the past 3 days I've been stressing over absolutely nothing. He's not annoyed with me for any reason, and after a hug and a double vodka (who cares if it was 1pm, the sun was shining and my nerves needed calming) I'm back to my happy self. Well, as happy as I can be, being unemployed is not much fun. Oh well, here's to a sun filled next week. Bring on the jobs!!!

Day 4

2004-08-01T10:31:00.000Z

Still no Jay. :o( I know he's alive cos I rang his work, but he was out on lunch. They said they'd get him to ring me... He never did. I'm running out of options, and patience. All I ask for is one msg. One phone call, even an email just telling me why he's avoiding/ignoring/not talking to me. It really confuses me, cos he seemed like the kind of person that'd speak his mind, good or bad. So I thought if anything was wrong between us he'd at least tell me. So what do I do?? The not knowing is really screwing my head up. cos I can't answer it. Why do I do it?? Why does my life always seem to revolve around men screwing my head up?? I'm more angry at myself than anything else, for letting it happen. It always does but I simply never learn. I vote for a woman's world. Completely male free. Bliss.

Morning World

2004-07-31T08:01:00.000Z

It's 9am on a saturday and i'm sat on the pc. why so early? cos everyday to me at the moment is a lazy day, and also cos the step-father from hell is at work. so i have at least 2-3hrs of uninterupted, peaceful blogging. ahh... bliss.... So. because its so early in the morning and i haven't been awake long, i can't actually think of anything remotely interesting to put.... oh yeah, it looks like my gardian angel fucked off. haven't seen or heard from him in three days now. yes, i know, three days isn't that long. but when you talk to someone everyday then suddenly it stops it feels like eternity. i miss him. i'd like to know he's ok if nothing else, in case summin terrible has happened. but wheres the line between trying to find out if someone is ok because you worry about them, and pestering them? i don't know. i'm trying to find the balance. Jay, if you're reading this, please ring me. i just want to know if you're ok. strangely enough i care bout you. and when i dont hear from you for 3 days straight i worry. just let me know. xx

It Was Supposed To Be So Easy

2004-07-30T19:56:00.000Z

I put The Streets on when i got home after my interview. (which didn't go too well btw) First track was this one. Sounds exactly like my life at the moment...

"It was supposed to be so easy
Just take back the DVD, withdraw that extra money
Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea, then grab my savings and hurry
So first to get the film back in time, to avoid that big fine
I had to do a fast hill climb, but a faster decline
But I flew a bit quick, arms like a lunatic
Had to stop for a few ticks, I started feeling sick
Got to the video shop in a state, but chuffed it wouldn't be late
Only when he flicked open the case, I'd left the disc at my place
Today I've achieved absolutely nought
In just being out of the house, I've lost out
If I wanted to end up with more now
I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how
So I failed on the DVD, but I still had to get the money
Tell mum I couldn't make tea, get the saving and then hurry
Rushing to the cash machine, still a bit mashed and lean
Then of course a mandatory car, drives by and splashes me
Get there the cues outrageous, ladies taking ages
My rage is blowing gauges, how longs it take to validate your wages?
At last my turn comes, press the 50 squid button
Insufficient funds....
Today I've achieved absolutely nowt
In just being out of the house, I've lost out
If I wanted to end up with more now
I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how
So I failed on the DVD, couldn't withdraw any money
But I still had to call mum, get the savings and hurry
So to call mum so that, I could tell her I cant go and that
At least I remembered my phone man, I didn't know her number offhand
Where's my phone have I got it, Oh this is a crock of shit
I lost the fucking thing, oh here it is in my pocket
But the batteries nearly flat, gotta call quick snap
Aww shit, the battery is flat
Today I've achieved absolutely nought
In just being out of the house, I've lost out
If I wanted to end up with more now
I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how
So Ive failed on the DVD, couldnt withdraw any money
Or call mum about tea, I'll have to get the savings and hurry
But where was the money, I knew I'd left it on the
Side, next to the telly, this is not even funny
I left it in the living room, ready to pick up as soon
As I passed through, on the way out to the rendevous
So the shoebox full of money, just disappearing from me
Is not what I call funny, a grand dont come for free
Today I've achieved absolutely nought
In just being out of the house, I've lost out
If I wanted to end up with more now
I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how

(Oi, soaked to the bone in my jeans, do you want me to stop?
I imagine my mums weaping right now
And the thousand pounds you swore, that I left on the table this morn
Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes and yours
And I'm a thousand pounds poorer, a hundred thousand pennies, no more
A thousandth of a million squid, or two monkeys or a whole fifty scores
Gone withdrawn from my life, the money is no more for sure)
It was supposed to be easy"

Pissed Off

2004-07-29T19:15:00.000Z

This is a pissed off post. basically, meaning i'm gunna rant about what's really pissing me off right now. so be warned. whats bugging me at the moment is where do step-parents get off trying to tell you how to run your life? they have nothing at all to do with your life other than being married to your one remaining, biological parent. my pain in the ass is my step-dad. MAJOR wank stick. he's been married to my mum for over 10 years, and he's always hated me. why? err.. possibly cos i'm not a guy. (he's got much older sons). he gives out critisms to me like they're sweetys. i'm suprised i've any self-confidence left after he's finished trying to destroy any last strand of it. but since i've moved back home (and am older) i've begun to stick up for myself a bit more. in other words, answer back. as it was before, i daren't retaliate, cos i was a minor, it was his house, and lets face it, an 11yr old girl against a 50-something male aint exactly great competition. but now i'm classed as an adult. and i feel that i shouldn't have to put up with anymore snide comments. i've had em all my teenage life, why the hell should i still get it??! what i don't understand is why he does it in the first place? its not even meant in a jokey, light-hearted way. all it does is piss me off, and upset my mum cos she's stuck in the middle of it all. as you've probably guessed he's been having a go tonight. just little comments. sarcastic, having a go at me. why??!! ffs what have i done so wrong since i was 8yrs old to annoy him so much that i have to pay for it for the rest of my years at home? he is just so infuriating.... feel better after that little rant though...
Anyway. tomorrow should be good. got to go to Barnsley for an interview for the Web Design job!! yay!!! really hope i get it, though with no quals and no exp i can't see it happening. worth a try though!!! wish me luck!!!!

Guardian Angel

2004-07-27T19:26:00.000Z

What was i on yesterday??!! just re-read my post from last night, omg!! its only a fuckin job at the end of the day!! and it wasn't even as though i liked it that much!! well, i been into town today and am now registered with 4 agencies. also seen a job in the job centre for a web designer. gotta chase it up tomorrow. i would really love that job though. so, things arn't quite as bad as they seemed last night. i still have a house (ok so i'm living with parents at the mo, but its better than a card board box), i still have oportunities to get a job, and i still have Jay. right at the moment (especially last night) Jay is my reason for living. although i haven't known him that long i feel i've known him forever. i think if i didn't have him then last night i may have done something really stoopid and wouldn't be here now. i kept thinking last night how easy it would be to OD on all the painkillers i've got for my back (enough to sedate a small elephant i think), but i didn't want to be without the one person who makes me feel special. for some strange reason he really likes me and thinks i'm amazing. can't see it myself, but its nice to think that someone likes you so much. so i'd like to raise a glass, to my guardian angel, and thank him for having patience with me over the last two weeks, and hope he'll still have patience for the next two. so here's to Jay. xxx

End Of The World

2004-07-26T18:15:00.000Z

Have you ever felt like your whole world is crashing down around your feet, and there's nothing you can do about it? well, that's how mine is. I was home from work by 12pm. why? cos i'm now unemployed. again. i've been forced to admit that i can't cope. big dent to self-confidence (whats left of it). So not only is my back set out to cripple me, but my life seems to be throwing everything it can at me in the hope that i'll give up. well, i hate to say some times it almost works. some nights i just wish i could go to sleep and never wake up. dark i know. but who else can i tell these thoughts to? my parents are disappointed in me anyway for not finishing college, and the last person i tried to talk to bout my feelings told me i was being silly and was attention seeking. so i've simply learned not to now. i keep a diary instead. all the thoughts that go through my head on a day-to-day basis, good and bad, get written down. it does help. sometimes. but i can never get away from the depression ive had for two years now. mostly i pretend it dosn't exist, and if you asked anyone who knows me they wouldn't believe it. ive simply learnt to hide it quite well. 'like a clown i put on a show. the pain is real even if nobody knows, and im dying inside. and nobody knows it but me...' a line from a song that really sums things up for me. well, heres to happy tomorrows....

Shoot me now.....

2004-07-25T19:50:00.000Z

I must've done something REALLY bad in a past life, cos my god am i being punished for it now. (btw, whats happened to blogger?? it seems to have had a much needed face-lift?) anyway... I think i need a body transplant, mine seems to be falling to bits. for the past two weeks ive had constant back ache, meaning oodles of sleepless nights cos i can't get comfortable, and also countless tablets that need to be taken, and most of all, excrutiating, continuous PAIN!!! its been a nightmare. this is why i haven't posted on here for so long, those of you who re-visit know i'm quite a regular blogger. i think the big guy upstairs has it in for me. but surely two weeks is enough?? i dont know how much more of this i can cope with. i jus dont understand what ive done to cause it. i havent done any out-of-the-ordinary strenuous excercise (well, i dont excerciise, so thats out.), i havent started sitting funny at work, i cant remember straining it at all.... it jus kinda came on slowly.... strange. gunna have to go back to the Docs after next week if it still insists on making my life hell. ive put up with it for too long now, now its time to say goodbye!!! mwa-ha-ha-ha....!!!!! *evil laughter*

Help!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-14T17:50:00.000Z

Please someone help me!! i'm surrounded in stinging nettles!! everytime i try to get out of 'em, i end up fallin further back in!!! ok, let me start from the beginning.... This afternoon at work has been a Nightmare on Carrie Street. the wages i did on Monday (see post below) have come back today wit loads of errors on 'em.... yep, meaning i've fucked it up!! wahey!!! so fuck knows how im gunna sort it all out. Its doing my head in. i hate not knowing what i'm doing. i know i havent been doin the wages long, and i need to learn, but its ppls wages im responsible for. all that responsibility... driving me crazy!!!!! So i' jus have to see how next mondays wages go.... *groans at the dreadful thought...*

Oh buggar....

2004-07-13T19:45:00.000Z

Well, my manager went to Crete for two weeks on Fri. meaning I'm in charge of doing the wages. this isn't good. i am in charge of about 200 peoples wages for 2wks.... :-O i'm hoping ive done 'em right, if not, ill have a lot of angry people coming back to me on friday complaining that they haven't been payed. oh well, everyones gotta learn sometime i guess.

2004-07-08T20:03:00.000Z

What have i done!!!

2004-07-08T18:41:00.000Z

I think i jinxed the weather... i said yesterday that it looked like the weather was getting better, and today its been pissing it down and blowing a gale!! me and my big mouth!!! i just hope tomorrow its nice, cos im off out on the piss after work, round the town centre and then round Holmfirth. Bout time i went out on the lash. last time was manchester!! and how long ago was that?!! like, ages!!! so watch out Huddersfield, Carrie + Alcohol = Mayhem!!!!!!!!

Another Day...

2004-07-07T18:07:00.000Z

So my ickle net friends... One day closer to the weekend (jumps around with excitment). Nice to see the weather is FINALLY getting better, although it is quite windy at the moment... :-S AAAAAAAAAny way...
The jobs still goin great, been spyin on other companies today to try n steal their jobs off 'em (mua-ha-ha-ha!!) because... *DRUM ROLL*... if we manage to hit all our targets for the next quarter we get..... AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO LONDON!!!!!!!!!! How fantastic!!! We get a day out shopping (Jimmy Choo.... Ohhhh.....!!!) a night out partying, and a night in a swanky hotel!! I think i'm the only person in the world who LOVES their job!!! So for the next few months the idea is that we work our arse's off and smash the target, making us all a big wedge of cash to spend on a fab weekend!! Can't wait!! Don't worry though, i'll tell you all about it when i get back!!! lol

Have you ever....

2004-07-06T19:12:00.000Z

Have you ever just stopped and looked around, not just looked, but actually have a good look so you notice things. people rushing around in cars going places, old ladies going down to the post office, next-doors cat watchin the grass for the mouse it keeps seeing... Ever wondered what the people you're watchin are thinking about? where they're goin? who they're goin to see? I was going over to Halifax for a meeting today (yawn) and was looking down on the valley watchin the cars going around, jus thinkin bout how small our role in this world really is. our own world seems quite big, but when you think of the millions upon millions of other people in the world just like yourself, each with their own lives, it just makes you think how big this round bit of land actually is...
Sorry to go all intellectual on you all, jus summin i was thinking of this aft. yeah, me, thinking!! thats a first!! well, it won't happen again for a while, so for now its back to my random ramblings....

Sundays....

2004-07-04T15:46:00.000Z

Dont you just hate 'em?? they're lazy days but you cant do anythin. the buses dont run on normal times so you cant go anywhere, most shops in town are shut, and its the day before monday (or mundane-day), meaning work!!! I hate sundays. grr... wouldn't it be better havin two saturdays instead??? sounds good to me...

Cheers

2004-06-29T19:50:00.000Z

Thanx Angi, yeah, thats exectly which blogsite i meant!! glad to know ppl do actually read my posts anyway!!! phew, thought this was all for nothin.

Is anyone else finding blogger really f**ked up at the mo? if i change my template or add posts, it wont refresh my blog n let me see it?! how am i supposed to tell if its worked or not??!!! modern technology, fantastic idea, but a pain in the royal ass sometimes...

Calling All Bloggers!!!!

2004-06-28T20:33:00.000Z

Can anyone point me in the direction of a blogsite i know of. its called summin like clublife, by a bouncer of a club in America (suprisingly). one of his posts is about how to persuade a bouncer to do stuff for you. If anyone knows of this blog, please, please, please give me the addy for it. i'd really like to look at it again and add a link to it from my site. cheers!!!

It Works!!!!!

2004-06-28T19:17:00.000Z

If you haven't noticed already (and why the hell not, i ask), look at the title bar. after a whole week of faffin round with cuttin n pasting codes into my blog, i finally got it to work!! i'm dead proud!! not just cos i think its really cool, but cos i did it all on my own, with no help from anyone!!! :-) yeay!!! enjoy!!

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

2004-06-25T20:05:00.000Z

...and its in the form of a certain swiss referee... if you watched the England v Portugal game on thurs then you know exactly what i mean. the ref was so obviously biased against England (possibly cos we beat Switzerland 3-0???). all we had to do was touch a Port. player and we had a yellow card or a free kick given against us. where as if they pushed any of our guys over it didn't seem to matter!!!! and the disallowed goal from Sol Campbell... don't get me started... everyone seems to agree that there was NOTHING wrong with it at all. Robbed. thats all i can say.

Quarter Finals here we come!!

2004-06-23T19:47:00.000Z

So, England are in the QFs thanx to the fantastic 4-2 win against Croatia. and again Wayne Rooney was just outstanding. i still think James needs to be replaced by a blow-up doll. it would do a better job. so, fingers crossed for tomorrow night!!!

And yes, the background has been returned to its origional glory after i fucked it up last night and lost all my site links and the hit counter - DOH!!! that'll teach me...

YEAY!!!!!!!

2004-06-22T20:51:00.000Z

Thought i'd share my fandabulous news with all you lucky people!!!!! the nice people where i work have asked me if i wanna be a permanent member of staff!! bring on one contract, and more money!!! wahey!!!!! so as soon as i got all my debt payed off, i can finally start savin to move out/get drivin!!! god thats a scarey thought, me behind the wheel.... watch out england, maniac driver on the loose!!!

What do you think of the new background btw? better? worse? let me know, cos i'm undecided.

My day so far....

2004-06-17T19:57:00.000Z

First of all, i HATE public transport. its either late - so you think you've missed it, early - so you do miss it, or it simply dosn't turn up at all!!! and to top it all off, standing at the bus stop when its pissing it down with rain, at 8am, waiting to get to work, is not my idea of fun. strangely enough. So of course for the first half of my day, i've been in a faul mood and very damp. and i don't mean that in a good way....!!
At least i cheered up after i dried off and warmed up. and my night improved 10-fold after watching the England game tonight, 3-0!!!!!!!! i tell ya... good or what!! just what we needed!!! jus hope france beat croatia... it aint over 'til the obese female sings...

What a difference 2mins makes!!!

2004-06-16T19:41:00.000Z

What the blazes happened on sunday??? One minute we were gettin ready to celebrate a 1-0 victory, the next, we'r staring at our screens yelling 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!' as Zidane got 2 goals in the 90th minute!!!! we were playing so well too!!! and the defence was unbelievable!!! our damn goaly James needs a slap, he didn't even move for the first one!!! we might as well had a card-board cut-out in the goals!!! silly tool. lets just hope the game on thurs goes better.

En-ger-land!!!

2004-06-13T13:24:00.000Z

So, Englands first game is later this-evening. Hopefully they'll do well. Personally i predict a 3-1 victory. We'll have to see what happens. What do you lot predict? Pls let me know, i like having feedback, means that someone actually reads what i've written and is interested enough to comment!!! lol

Happy As....

2004-06-12T21:07:00.000Z

I'm in a fandabulozo mood at the mo. Everything in my world is going great!!! makes up for the past few months of sheer hell i guess. well, im just glad to be out of the stinging nettles for now. wish i could get rid of this bloomin cold tho...

New Blue

2004-06-09T19:42:00.000Z

So here we are, with a new blue look!!! better? i think so. feeling kinda blue myself, all full of cold. would be now its all hot n sunny outside.... grrr... im in need of a good bit of TLC. Any offers?? lol

Well, I'm still alive....

2004-06-07T19:02:00.000Z

I'm back from my first day at my new job, and im still alive and still going back tomorrow, so it cant have been that bad. the bonus of working there is that the guy who works there is an ex stripper!!! Wahey!! pity hes got a girlfriend though... lol never mind. all is good in the land of Carrie.

The Cats out of the Bag

2004-06-06T19:02:00.000Z

Hurray hurrah!!! finally the lesbian/anarchist/annoying/rebelious one has been kicked out of the Big Brother house. to be fair, she brought it all on herself. breaking rules is all fair enough, even i believe that rules are made to be broken. but theres got to be a point where you think, 'nows the time to stop'. Kitten shoul've realised that the time to stop was when she was told that one more rebelious antic from her would cost someone else there place in the house. i'm just thankful that BB was kind enough to give her the boot and not one of the other innocent residents. so, here's to BB5, hopefully better now the kitten has scat.

The Streets

2004-06-05T20:20:00.000Z

I bought the last album by The Streets - Origional Pirate Matirial - after hearing their first single on the radio. my first thoughts being 'my god, this is bloody brilliant!' so naturally i was a bit excited when i heard they'd brought out their second album very recently. been into town today and bought it - A Grand Don't Come For Free - and i have to say its absolutely fab. a bit more chilled out and mellow in comparison to the last one, but its damn good all the same. its the type of CD that you play when you've got all your mates round for a good night of spliffs n alcohol. it's good to listen to when you're stoned. So take my advice and GO BUY IT NOW!!!!!!!

Goodbye unemployment, Hello job!!!

2004-06-04T17:16:00.000Z

Yes, thats right. i am now officially employed!! starts on monday. a nice 9-5, sat on my ass, office job. so finally i can start saving up for my own place!! i see a HUGE house warming coming up...!! ooohhhh, can't wait!!

Big Brother - Flash or Trash?

2004-06-03T20:44:00.000Z

Just wondering what you guys thought of the new Big Brother? have they gone ott with the mad house mates and the new layout of the house, or have they made it more interesting? is there too much pressure on this years house mates to 'get it on'? so i want to know your views. one thing i'm sure of is that i can't stand kitten!!! she's so over the top it's untrue!!! but then, the whole Big Brither experience this year seems a bit ott to me...

Thanx!!!

2004-06-03T20:02:00.000Z

I just want to say thank you to Samael Leamas for being the first person to leave me a comment!! its taken 218 people to visit my site and only he has said anything what-so-ever!! so thank you very much sam, much apprieciated!!!

2004-05-30T15:09:00.000Z

Deleted CV

2004-05-27T22:16:00.000Z

Decided to get rid of the cv. took up far too much room and wasn't that interesting. i'm sure you lot don't wanna trawl through all that shit. so i got rid. that's ok, you're welcome.

Back Again

2004-05-27T22:00:00.000Z

So here we are again. going to manchester this weekend for a mates birthday, cue a mad, alcohol fuelled weekend of clubs n drunkeness!!! so if you live in manchester, be warned....

Well, i think manchester went well... or what i can remember anyway!! all i know is that i got very drunk and fell over alot. so i must apologize to the bouncers of the club we were in (can't even remember the damn name of it!) who had to carry me outside and lay me on the pavement. they were generally quite concerned for my well-being and even offered to pay for my taxi home!! sorry also to anyone i may have fallen into whilst in the club. and also to the girl who i tried to chat up for my mate, but she disappeared when i turned round. (was it something i slurred??) so all in all, a good night.

next wednesday i'll be in hudds... be warned!!!

2004-05-24T15:46:00.000Z

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A Bit About Me

2004-05-23T11:51:00.000Z

Well, where to start. my name's Carrie, i'm 19. i went to Colne Valley High School in Huddersfield, did quite well in my GCSE's and hung around with my best mates - Jenna, Heather and Katie. we were always hanging around together, going to each others houses etc. i left school and went to Huddersfield New College. Katie came to the same college and Heather and Jenna went to Huddersfield Technical College. i took Graphic Design, Fine Art, English Language, GCSE 3D Art and Maths. the maths course only lasted for 3months as it was too hard for me, and my teacher had taken a dislike to me and was of no help what-so-ever!! i stayed at college for just one year, due to personal problems that i won't go into. i came away with AS levels, getting A's in my art courses, and B in Graphics. (i never took the english exam). when i left college i went into waitressing. not as a career choice but 'cos i needed some money. two years and three restaurants later i quit and moved down to Hertfordshire. Why the sudden move? well, i moved to do a graphic design course down here, which never really got off the ground. that was two weeks ago. i've since joined 7 job agencies and am doing temp work. (that's where i am now, sat at a desk answering the phone. how fun. not!!)
wow, the last 8 years of my life in one very long paragraph!! no doubt i'll go into more detail once i've figured out how to use blogger correctly!!! so watch this space!!

ok, so here's the next installment....
ive since moved back to huddersfield. wasn't really liking it down there. so now i'm living back with my parents. not the most fantastic of arrangements, but its a roof over my head. so the plan for now is to get a job and start saving for my own place!!!